DON'T LET MARK ZUCKERBERG GET HOT

Photoshop has been making less-than-fortunate looking people look like absolute rockets for years now. Nothing about that technology is new. So the fact that Zuck looks like a goddamn man missile and a half with this beard edited onto his face isn't unlike anything we've never seen before. Instagram models have essentially been doing this for a decade. 

He looks like a perfectly average dude in the original version of his video, and then gets the smoke patrol on red alert with a little help from photoshop. 

HOWEVA….

This is Mark Zuckerberg we're talking about here. A man with billions of dollars and unlimited technology at his disposal. The man is clearly phasing in a new look here anyway with letting the hair grow out and the addition of the chain. The chain tells me this man has intentions of being a demon this summer. 

So with all that money and all that technology at his fingertips, all I'm saying is that I wouldn't put it past Zuck to hire a couple of nerds to figure out how to get an AI beard superimposed onto his face in real life. Plastic surgery has always been the solution to photoshop yourself in real life, but imagine how perfect you could dial it in with AI? Zuck has that capability. And now he knows everything thinks he looks like a stallion with the beard. 

We just can't let Mark Zuckerberg get hot. Out of all the technological advances that have come over the years, this is the one that strikes fear in me the most. Zuck using technology to get hot would make him far too powerful. That's the one thing that the rest of us always had on Zuck. Guy looked like a mutant, and it was always impossible to take him seriously for it. But you start getting a man rocket billionaire controlling the internet? We won't have any more checks and balances because we'll just be entranced in his bad boy debonair. Hot dudes can get away with anything. The moment Zuck's appearance doesn't make him want to instinctually stuff him in a locker, we're done for. 

@JordieBarstool

Popular in the Community